distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
