its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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