I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
