My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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