they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
