I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Panties = found
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