Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She's the barista slut.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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