umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
