Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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