and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
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