The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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