A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
