I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
