I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
