It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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