Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize