Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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