you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
