My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
