Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
