p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize