Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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