Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
