She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
