I have demons in me.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
