ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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