he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
love makes seman taste better
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
