question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
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