it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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