plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Randomize
