You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
