Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
