At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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