you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
