what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
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