Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
