I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
