Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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