shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
