Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry StankyBritches52 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(209): View more from California

I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.

Fav 78 1086 3555
share tweet
(256): View more from Alabama

She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.

Fav 58 4873 2397
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(269): View more from Michigan

sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.

Fav 16 3377 1612
share tweet
(912): View more from Georgia

then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again

Fav 28 1285 5142
share tweet
(608): View more from Wisconsin

so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars

Fav 13 5026 760
share tweet
(318): View more from Louisiana

tonight lets celebrate not being married

Fav 19 7218 1094
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?

Fav 33 2670 4951
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(646): View more from New York

Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.

(347): View more from New York

Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!

Fav 1 1547 1086
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(951): View more from California

Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying

Fav 1 475 154
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT