dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
