Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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