Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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