Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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