worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
