I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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