he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize