Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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