ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
