You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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