: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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