Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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