Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You may now shotgun with the bride
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
