Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
