I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
