Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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