Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
