YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
