Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
