If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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