the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
