I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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