Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
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