what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
