Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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