I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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