Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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