I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
