Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
