apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
