I'm laying in your front yard are you home
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
