Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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