were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
MIDGETS
????
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize