Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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