so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
