Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
