Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
