I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Randomize
