Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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